


Stranger Creatures

by s0joshdun



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Half-Human, M/M, Romance, Running Away, Sad, Unhappy Ending, Were-Creatures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-04 02:36:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4122750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s0joshdun/pseuds/s0joshdun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two different boys, both with two different faces each.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a story brainstormed by the good people of the joshlernet (tumblr). put into actual sentences and stuff. i hope this does the ideas justice. it sounded really cool in hypothetical form so, yeah. will be cute. and sad. i'm excited. hope you are all too.

Tyler Joseph, an estranged kid from Ohio. Once upon a time he was the basketball star at his high school, until somewhere along the line he lost his skills and, more importantly, himself. Instead of going to college, he decided to stay home to pursue his interests in a music career. So far, not so good. In actuality, he spent most of his time in the forests that surround his hometown, asking—shouting—questions to an empty sky. He questioned God, he questioned himself, he questioned his purpose. He couldn’t find answers in prayer anymore. He couldn’t find answers anywhere.

‘Why me?’ Tyler shouted. “Who am I supposed to be?” He knelt in the grass with his hands covering his head. He cried into the ground. Nothing seemed to work for him anymore. His family was stripped of all hope and stopped trying to help him. Tyler wouldn’t let them help if they wanted to. He always said this was something he had to figure out himself. This was something between him and God, and him and God only. 

“What am I even trying to figure out?” he asked with a small sigh. He liked the forest because it helped him think. Sometimes he thought too much. He knew he needed help. He knew he was lost. But at this point, he wouldn’t mind disappearing into the forest forever. He wanted to stay. It was really the only place that made sense to him.

////

Joshua Dun, another estranged kid from Ohio. Once upon a time he was a quiet, anxious kid from the high school a town over from Tyler, until he went missing two years ago. Not many people noticed that he was gone—his family was stripped of all hope and moved across the country when they were told that he was most likely dead. But of course he wasn’t dead. Josh lingered in the forest, asking the same questions to the sky— _why him? who was he supposed to be? what was his purpose?_

Nobody had seen him since his case had closed. Sometimes Josh presumed himself dead, too. He looked down on himself and whimpered, knowing that he was either off the rails crazy, or really dreaming dead. Because things like this didn’t happen in this world. This was made for a story book, not real life. 

“Why haven’t you killed me yet?” he roared to the sky, screaming at the empty clouds and terrifying nearby birds who fluttered away hastily in another direction. He laid down in the grass. He knew God couldn’t hear him, for he was no longer in God’s image. 

He cried and cried and cried, because that was all he could do anymore. Sometimes he was so weak that he didn’t even have the energy to let a tear fall. He remained in the middle of the forest, warm until he was completely relaxed, and then he was cold and bare, his orange hair swept across his sticky forehead and his perfect teeth chattering in the wind.


	2. Quickly Moving Towards A Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theY MEET.   
> kinda.

Tyler yet again found himself sitting solemnly in the forest. Time was weird for him these days. It seemed hazy. Each day passed with nothing new accomplished, so every one of them simply blurred together. He was losing it. His grasp on reality was slipping. 

He could feel his reality in between the cracks of his hands. He knew what he had and he knew what he needed to move forward, but the faster he went the more of it drained. He knew he needed music. He knew that it would be his purpose—to help him find himself. He figured that maybe it would be other people’s purpose, too. He just didn’t know how.

“ _Quickly moving towards a storm… moving forward…_ ,” he sang. His throat strained. His head twitched to the left at the sound of a branch snapping. It turned out that the sound had really come from the right. “… _torn into pieces over reasons of what these storms are for_ …” He shook his head and blinked. He raised his hands around, trying to reach into the sky, as if a selection of words floated above his head for him to pick and choose. He swatted the air, trying to catch them. “ _I don’t understand why everything… why everything…_ ” he shook his head and growled a little. He couldn’t get it right.

Another branch cracked. Josh was nearby, curious at this cute stranger that was manically singing amongst the trees. He knew he was upset and almost wanted to say something. His hands started to shake, though; he knew better.

Tyler squatted into the ground. He ran his fingers through his short hair. “This is not what I had planned!” he whined a little. “Go away, go away!” he muttered to himself. Tears burned in his eyes. “I am Tyler, not you,” he whispered. His other face liked to take over in times like these. The face that made everything blurry and terrifying. He could feel it crawling up his chest and wrapping its hands around his throat. 

Tyler jumped up and screamed at the sky again. “Am I the only one?!” he kicked a branch on the ground. Josh jumped and peered at Tyler curiously from behind a tree. “Anyone else? Does it bother anyone else? That someone else has your name?” Tyler swiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He was two people at once, a soul half divided. His hands were shaking.

Josh’s hands were shaking, too. He knew he was intruding on Tyler’s personal moment, but he couldn’t look away. He was stuck. He couldn’t turn back now. He knew he had to, but his eyes were locked in on the boy in the woods—his anxiety and anguish fed Josh. Josh licked his lips. His teeth started to chatter.

He screamed.

Tyler jumped back in alarm at the sound of a human scream. The scream cut off abruptly, which probably would have scared Tyler to his core if it wasn’t for the angry roar that followed, which was even scarier.

He was normally alone in the woods. Wild animals besides birds and deer didn’t normally show up. 

But he wasn’t alone. Tyler didn’t see the tiger—or know that it was one—but he could hear its growl. Whoever else that was in the woods had surely been mauled to death already. 

Instincts taking over, Tyler bolted in the other direction, sprinting out of the woods, fearing that whatever the animal was, was going to get him next. He didn’t have time to even contemplate his odd decision to run— _wouldn’t this be an interesting way to go?_ —before his face was suddenly pressed down into the ground, a heavy mass on top of him, sharp nails digging into his shoulder blades, and hot breath on the back of his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks 4 reading !! hopefully things will pick up soon :)


	3. I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream

Tyler closed his eyes tightly. The animal growled into his ear. He whimpered a little in fear but tried not to breathe or move; although he knew that was useless because it knew that he was here. It was crushing him.

 _Just make it quick,_ he thought to himself.

Suddenly, the weight lifted from his back. He let out a huge breath of air. He heard the patter of footsteps.

But he couldn’t breathe again. His vision started to go fuzzy. He rolled over and sat up, scuffling backwards as fast as possible. He couldn’t go far because his chest hurt so bad. He clutched his hands at his heaving lungs. When he blinked, his vision cleared a little, and that was when he saw it:

Ten feet away, lying down, with its head on its paw, and an oddly sad look in its eyes, was a _tiger_. 

The tiger watched Tyler shamefully. He could see the veins in Tyler’s neck rush with blood as the anxiety overtook him. 

Josh whimpered. He didn’t like seeing Tyler like this. For the first time in forever, the anxiety radiating off of another being—and himself—didn’t trigger him into aggression. It rattled him. He sat up and started to walk towards Tyler—stupidly, of course. Tyler scuffled backwards again in pure fear. He had his hand on his throat, as if he was trying to stop some imaginary force from choking him.

Josh knew the feeling. He whimpered again and slowly started to back away. He turned and then broke out into a sprint in the other direction, as fast as his four legs could carry him, until he could no longer hear Tyler’s racing heartbeat. 

He growled as he felt his legs and arms start to twist, and suddenly he was Regular Josh again, stumbling forward and tripping over a branch because his human legs didn’t have the cat reflexes that the tiger ones obviously did. He fell down onto the ground and cried into a few leaves. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. He didn’t want to hurt anymore.

Tyler stared in half-awe as the tiger backed away and then sprinted in the other direction. He was sure that he was going to die. He couldn’t believe that he was still alive.

He couldn't believe that in the middle of a state-owned Ohio forest, was a goddamn _tiger_. 

Once the shock wore off, Tyler somehow found his legs. He stumbled back, tripped over a branch, and sprinted back in the opposite direction that the tiger had gone.

He didn’t go back into the forest for weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes. josh is. a were-tiger.   
> now that this intro stuff is done i look forward to getting into the cutE N FLUFFY  
> thanks for reading. let me know what you think? have a nice day |-/


	4. I'm Out Of My Mind

Tyler didn’t tell his mom—or anyone—about the tiger incident. He knew they wouldn’t believe him. Hell, half the time _he_ didn’t believe himself. Maybe if was all made up in his head. How else would there be a tiger in the middle of an Ohio forest if it weren’t a result of his imagination?

He considered this for a while and tried not to dwell, until one day he heard his mom call out to the rest of the family. Tyler spent most of his time in his room, afraid to return to the forest for obvious reasons. It was a little refreshing to have a change of scenery but he was starting to itch to go back. He always did his best thinking there.

In his room, underneath his ceiling, he always thought too much. 

Tyler and his three siblings piled into the family room.

“Look at this,” their mom said. Tyler’s eyes widened at the TV screen for a slightly different reason than the rest of his family. “Be careful outside until they catch it, okay?” she said, referring to the news report about a spotted tiger in the woods and residential areas of Ohio.

“This must be a hoax, why would there be a tiger out here?” his sister, Maddie, exclaimed. “The things people say to get on TV!” 

“No, no, look,” Jay, one of the brothers, pointed at the TV when it changed to a clip that someone recorded of the random tiger. Tyler’s eyes widened. The video showed the tail of the tiger whipping around a tree as it ran away from the people.

“It’s interesting, the way it runs away from the humans trying to hunt it!” Zack exclaimed. “Aren’t tigers supposed to attack when it’s threatened?”

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows, nodding in agreement. He couldn’t get the scream that he had heard out of his head, though. It was weeks ago and yet every night before he went to sleep, he heard the gurgling scream—he _felt_ it, too, as if it was coming from his own throat—that transitioned into a nasty roar. He knew that in the next few days, they would find a body. 

And for some reason, that was the real reason why Tyler was so terrified of going back. He didn’t want to be the one that stumbled upon a mauled up face.

Little did Tyler know, there was no dead body--the tiger had never hurt another soul. There was just a scared boy, hiding in the trees and trying to escape the hunters that were thirstier for his blood than he was for theirs. 

“Especially you, Tyler,” his mom said, sending him a grave look. “No running off.” He swallowed thickly and nodded. 

A few more days passed. Josh phased in and out, not able to control himself like he had trained himself to. He was sick with anxiety, and that anxiety was going to be the death of him. He had snuck into a grocery store the last week, hungry because it had been several days since he had last eaten. He was only going to take a few things, bread, some fruit, and a cooked rotisserie chicken. 

His hood was up to disguise his brightly colored orange hair, and his head was down to hide his face. That was sketchy enough. He wasn’t able to get out of the store unnoticed. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, or make anyone loose their job, by stealing. His hands were shaking that he dropped the chicken, making a mess. A friendly associate told him that it was okay, _things happen_ , and cleaned it up. But now he had his eye on him. He couldn’t get out of the store unnoticed. He debated making a run for it, but figured he’d try again the next day at a different grocery store. He could last one more day. 

He couldn’t last one more day. He nearly passed out from exhaustion sneaking back into the forest. Instead of passing out, though, the worst-case scenario happened: he phased. Nobody saw him turn into the tiger, but a bunch of people saw the tiger. After two years sneaking by, his cover had been blown. People knew about him now. He was no longer safe. 

A hunter was able to get a shot at the tiger one day. Tyler heard it from his room. He also heard about what happened on the news. They hit the tiger on the side, and it let out the nastiest, scariest growl, baring all of its teeth in anguish. The hunters were too scared to approach it after hitting it. They figured the tiger would die overnight and they could get rid of the corpse the next day. They were too spooked about its existence in the first place and didn’t want to get too close.

Tyler almost felt bad for the animal. It had such an innocent and sad look in its eyes, one that Tyler couldn’t get out of his head. He sighed, imagining that he was just like the tiger. _Out of place_.


	5. A Stranger's Back Is All I See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they finally meet. things are weird. but tyler's pretty used to weird, so it's okay.

Tyler woke up from a nightmare that night. It was only midnight but his house was quiet. He sighed and rolled out of bed. He needed to go to the forest to clear his mind. As silly as the thought sounded, Tyler hoped that, if it were still alive, he and the tiger could just coexist in the forest. It seemed like they both needed it, and Tyler didn’t plan on bothering it. He wanted to mind his own business and hoped that the tiger would do the same. 

Tyler grabbed a sweatshirt and slipped on his shoes. He snuck out the back door and took a deep breath. It was drizzling out. He extended his hand and curled his fingers to feel the cold misty rain. 

Tyler found himself smiling. He loved being outside. He could breathe a little better. Even though it was dark out, he wasn’t afraid of the forest. The nature didn’t scare him. Neither did the possibility of running into the tiger again. He knew it was most likely dead. It made him a little sad but he didn’t dwell on it. 

For the first time in a while, as he started to wander further into the forest, he was relaxed.

He sat down on a fallen branch and leaned against a tree with a small sigh. The trees swayed in the wind. He felt more at home in the forest, more than he ever did anywhere else.

Just as his brain started to really shut down for the night, Tyler’s head popped up at a disturbing sound. “Help,” someone had whispered. 

His eyes went wide. For the second time in his life, he felt fear while in the forest. Was he hearing things, or did someone actually just whimper for help? 

Tyler looked around at his surroundings. The forest suddenly seemed a lot darker and menacing than it used to. 

“P-please,” he heard someone cry again. “D-down h-here.”

Tyler followed the voice a few feet away. His eyes widened at the sight of someone covered in leaves and tree branches, laying down on the ground. His skin was pale and his hair was very orange. 

“Oh my God,” Tyler breathed. He knelt down by him and carefully moved the mess to the side. He now saw the boy holding his hands tightly against his stomach. Even in the dark of the night, Tyler could see the blood that seeped between his fingers. “Oh my God,” Tyler repeated. “What happened to you?”

“H-hurts,” he whimpered, clenching his eyes shut.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Tyler said, shifting into focus. “Um, what’s your name?” He tried.

“Josh,” he whispered. Josh kept his eyes clamped shut and growled in pain. “It hurts a lot.”

“Okay, I’m going to get you help. Um,” Tyler scratched the back of his head. He didn’t know what to do. “I’m going to have to move you out of here. It’ll probably hurt… um…” 

“I can’t walk. It’s okay. Please,” Josh cried. 

“Okay,” Tyler breathed and leaned down. His first instinct was to brush back some of Josh’s wild hair. The action comforted Josh a little. He knew who this guy was—he recognized Tyler. The guy he accidently lunged at that one time a few weeks ago and still felt bad about every day. Except, right now he had more pressing things to worry about and he was just glad that of all people, it was Tyler who had found him. 

Tyler took his sweatshirt off. It wasn’t much but could probably help some. He carefully took Josh’s hands and moved them off of his wound. Josh cried out in pain. His hands were stained in his own blood and shaking. “It’s okay,” Tyler murmured. He folded his sweatshirt and placed it gently onto the wound. “What is this?”

“A, uh, uh, shot,” Josh stammered.

Tyler didn’t ask questions, even though he was very confused. He took Josh’s hands again and placed them back to where they were before, but over the sweatshirt. “Keep holding it,” he said. Tyler had seen enough TV shows to kind of know what to do in this situation. 

Tyler took a deep breath and leaned down to try and pick Josh up. He wasn’t the strongest and they looked about the same height, maybe Josh was a little shorter, but Tyler was feeling a lot of adrenaline coursing through his veins and was able to heave him up into his arms. Josh was also pretty thin; you could see his cheekbones and his elbows were bony. It was as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Tyler mumbled repeatedly. Josh cried and turned his head into Tyler’s shoulder. 

Tyler slowly made his way out of the forest with a whimpering Josh in his arms. “I-I can’t drive, I have to call an ambulance,” Tyler said. He suddenly regretted not ever getting his license. He never thought that he would make it this far to actually need one. Tyler shook the thoughts out of his head.

Josh didn’t reply. He had fallen unconscious. Tyler, for some reason, felt like it would be a bad idea to get his family involved. The situation was weird enough—he didn’t need them asking questions. He set Josh down and dialed for an ambulance on his phone, telling them an address that was around the corner. He picked Josh up again and made his way to where the ambulance was going to go. When he got there, he sat down on the curb with Josh’s body across his lap. He anxiously held one hand over the other boy’s hands to hold the wound, while also holding his sunken head up with the other.

Josh’s eyes fluttered open again. He looked around frantically, relieved to see Tyler’s face. He was also relieved to find that he hadn’t phased into his tiger form while unconscious. He figured this had something to do with Tyler’s presence. 

Josh winced as the pain took a sharp increase. Tyler couldn’t help but notice how nice and perfect Josh’s teeth were—what a weird thing to notice, right? 

Tyler didn’t know what else to do except pet Josh’s hair as a way to comfort him until the ambulance arrived. 

“I-I’m not Josh,” he said. 

“Hm?” Tyler furrowed his eyebrows.

“Don’t say Josh,” he elaborated. He sent Tyler a grave look.

The paramedics rushed over. They asked questions while they lifted Josh onto a stretcher, all of which Tyler awkwardly dodged. It was an emergency, after all. Tyler followed them into the ambulance. When he sat down next to Josh’s limp body, he looked down at his shaking and red hands. 

Tyler really wanted to blame all of this on his wild imagination. He’s had it happen before, where he got too sucked into his mind and imagined crazy scenarios in his head to make life a little interesting. But the color stained on his hands told him that this was all too real.

They were soon at the hospital. Josh kept looking at Tyler with the strangest look in his eyes. Fear was a part of it, but there was something else. It scared Tyler a little bit. 

“What happened?” A doctor rushed into the emergency room.

“He was shot,” Tyler said. Josh and him made eye contact. Josh relentlessly held onto it. 

“Do we need to call the police?”

“Just fix him?” Tyler tried, not looking away from Josh’s stare. He was trying to tell Tyler something, but he couldn’t exactly pick it up.

The doctor started to go to work on Josh—he ripped open his shirt and examined the wound. Tyler reluctantly looked away from Josh’s eyes to check out his injury. Nasty was definitely one word for it. Tyler felt sick.

“This looks old,” the doctor hummed. 

“Can you just get it out?” Josh whined, growing impatient. He looked at Tyler desperately. Tyler was still stuck on the wound. But Josh needed Tyler’s eyes because for some reason, they made him feel calm. He could fell his hands start to shake and didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if he all of a sudden turned into a fucking tiger in the ER.

“Can you fill out these forms?” a nurse came over, tapping Tyler on his shoulder and breaking him from his stare.

“Uh… I, uh,” he glanced at Josh nervously. He didn’t know how to lie in and out of a hospital without getting either of them in trouble.

“What’s his name?” the nurse asked, picking up her pen to write it for him—his hands were bloodied, after all.

“Uh…”

Josh glared at Tyler. He was cute, yeah, but he sucked at lying. “I’m Will. Leave him alone for now?” his voice strained as the doctor started to clean and numb the injured area. 

“Hm, we might need to operate on this.” He turned to a nurse. “See if OR three is open?”

“No!” Josh suddenly exclaimed. Tyler jumped back a little at the sound he made. “No, I’m allergic to anesthesia. You’ll have to just do it here,” he said frantically. He wouldn’t be able to control if he phased or not when he was unconscious. 

“I don’t think I can do that,” the doctor said tentatively.

“You’re an ER doctor, right? I’m sure you’ve seen worse,” Josh tried. “Then get someone who will!” The doctor blinked, fearing the look in Josh’s eyes. Tyler felt a little intimidated too but knew that Josh was just in a lot of pain. 

The doctor left quickly to go find someone else who could stomach operating on and stitching up the bullet wound. Luckily Josh was stable enough for now—but due to his general malnutrition and an entire day of bleeding, that probably wouldn’t be the case for long.

Josh was strong though. He once went weeks without food, with an infected cut on his leg to top it all off. The past two years living wildly by himself had toughened him up a bit. He was still scared, though. And still in a lot of pain. “Hey, uh, can you like, not leave?” Josh asked nervously to Tyler. He still worried that he would phase on the table. For some reason, though, he felt more in control around Tyler, apart from the first time they “met,” when Josh lunged at him by accident. He also just liked Tyler’s company. It was nice—he’d been alone for two years. 

“Oh, yeah, of course dude,” Tyler said, shuffling awkwardly closer to Josh. “So, what happened?”

Josh bit his lip. “An accident. It’s fine.”

Tyler frowned. “He said it’s old.”

“Yeah, happened earlier today… I probably would still be in the woods if it weren’t for you,” Josh said, with a grateful look. Tyler smiled a little. The whole situation seemed sketchy, which worried him. He didn’t press Josh with questions, though. 

A new doctor came back. “So we gotta tough one today?” he asked with a lighthearted smile, pulling over a side table with instruments laid out on it. Josh gulped when the scalpel and knives flickered in his eyes. The doctor placed a blue sheet over the injury and angled a light over the area, swiveling in his chair to Josh’s left side. He pressed his glasses into his nose.

“Alright, here’s the dealio. I can see this mystery bullet close to the surface. It’s lodged in pretty weirdly, though, so I have to cut around it and dig a little. It doesn’t look like any thing important is affected though, which is good.” 

“Will it hurt?” Tyler found himself asking. He stood close to Josh’s head, his hand absentmindedly brushing through the other boy’s hair. Josh’s eyes fluttered open and closed at the comforting contact. The doctor nodded over to a chair across the way for Tyler to sit in. He pulled it over and sat on Josh’s right.

“It’ll be uncomfortable. We numbed the area as best we could but that’s about all we can do, since, y’know, you’re allergic to what we’d use. Just try not to think about it, and stay still.”

Josh let out a short, nervous laugh. “Tyler,” he whined when the doctor started to press the instrument into Josh’s skin around the affected area. 

Tyler instinctively grabbed Josh’s hand to try and comfort him. Josh’s hands were clammy. He clenched his eyes shut for a few minutes. He could feel the doctor picking at the wound, and although it wasn’t excruciating, he didn’t like it at all. His hands started to shake so he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Tyler. Tyler sent him an encouraging smile. 

Josh felt grounded looking at Tyler. He felt in control. The doctor finished up the last few stitches and wandered away to get more bandages. 

“Are you okay?” Tyler asked worriedly. 

Josh let out a breath that he didn’t realize he was holding and nodded. “Yeah, thanks.” 

“Alright,” the doctor came back and cleaned up the area. “Alright, hang tight here while I write a prescription for anti infection antibiotics.

“I can’t afford that,” Josh said quickly. He didn’t have health insurance—hell, according to the state of Ohio he was pretty sure he didn’t even actually exist as a person. 

The doctor saw situations like this all of the time. He didn’t want to get the kids in trouble, but he did have protocol to follow. 

“I’ll see what I can get for ya, okay?” He pulled the curtain back and disappeared again.

“Do you think he’s going to call the cops?” Tyler asked nervously. Josh shook his head. 

“No. I can tell he thinks we’re homeless. Or at least me. He’s going to give me a break,” Josh said.

“How can you tell?”

Josh shrugged. “I just can.” He sat up a little, wincing as he did. 

“So, you _are_ homeless?” Tyler asked. 

Josh nodded. “What happened? Can I help you?” Tyler bit his lip. He didn’t know where Josh had come from but her knew he couldn’t just let him go off on his own again. He looked so weak. But he did have great teeth and awesome hair—Tyler wondered how he was able to keep up with them. Even though he was at a low, Josh still managed to smile a little; when he did, Tyler liked the way his face scrunched up and his eyes shined.

Now, though, Josh had a sad stare in his eyes. His face drooped. He looked distant. “I ran away a little while ago,” he mumbled. “Um, I’m okay though.” Josh didn’t want to take anything from Tyler. 

“You know I can’t just let you go back into the woods after this. Is it safe out there? Who hurt you?”

Josh just shook his head. He smiled sadly. “You wouldn’t understand. And I’m not going to explain it to you. Don’t worry.” He didn’t mean for that to come out rudely, he just couldn’t answer questions. He didn’t want to drag Tyler into his mess. 

Tyler frowned. “I can sneak you into my house, Josh. So it doesn’t get infected. Until you’re all better. And then you can go off and do whatever you do.”

Josh smiled a little again. “Thanks Tyler, but I can’t.” 

Tyler opened his mouth to object again, but the doctor came back. “This should last you a few weeks. Try and keep it clean, change bandages every few hours. I think you’ll be just fine,” he said, handing Josh some bandages and on site antibiotics. 

“Thank you,” Josh said appreciatively. 

“Stay safe, boys,” the doctor said gravely. “And, I’ll leave this here for you to fill out paper work and insurance information. I’ll just turn my back now…” the doctor hinted with a wink and wandered away again. Josh grinned. He grabbed Tyler’s arm for support and carefully stood up. 

“Wanna carry me again?” Josh asked once they were out of the hospital. He smiled lightheartedly.

Tyler laughed. “Only if you tell me where you’re going.”

They both ended up walking, with Josh holding Tyler’s arm for support.

The hospital was a few miles away from Tyler’s house. Josh felt bad for keeping Tyler up so he walked with him all the way back there. He had a camp set in the depths of the forest by Tyler’s house anyways that he wanted to get back to. 

Josh was mostly numb and it didn’t really hurt to walk, although his stitches pulled a little. He continued to hold onto Tyler’s arm just in case, though. Josh worried that he’d accidently phase in and out of tiger form—that wouldn’t bode well for the healing process. He’d have to be extra careful tonight.

“So you’re just going to disappear into the forest?” Tyler asked when they got on his street. 

Josh shrugged, his typical response. “Yeah.”

“And you’ll be safe in there?” Tyler was really worried. He knew he couldn’t force Josh to stick around for some proper care, but the least he could do was offer some help.

“I always am, right?” Josh offered, scrunching his face up with a smile.

“Ha, ha,” Tyler scoffed. “I just,” he sighed and scratched the back of his head. “I never knew you _lived_ in there? How come I’ve never seen you before?”

Josh shrugged. “You probably have,” he said, hinting back to when he impulsively tackled Tyler to the ground. He wanted to apologize for that but obviously couldn’t without raising even more questions—questions that he didn’t have the answers to.

“Oh!” Tyler thought of yet another thing to worry about. “The tiger! Did—”

“The hunters got rid of it early tonight,” Josh cut him off. His hands started to shake. “I don’t know anything about that.” He shook his head. “Um, yeah. So it’s safe.”

“Oh, was it a hunter that accidently shot you when they were trying to get the tiger?” Tyler realized.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, that,” Josh stammered, letting Tyler believe that. “I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble so, yeah.” 

“Damn, they should’ve blocked the woods or something before they started hunting, that’s so dangerous.”

“Yeah. Well luckily they didn’t get far enough into the woods to get to my camp. That would have sucked,” Josh said. “But it’s fine. All good here.”

“Okay…” Tyler said. “Take care of yourself okay?”

“I will. Thanks Tyler,” Josh replied.

“Y’know, I don’t think I ever told you my name,” Tyler said. He felt his stomach drop a little.

“Oh, yeah, I heard you say it a few times,” Josh shrugged. He used to always hear Tyler yelling in the woods. That was why he stayed in that part of the forest. It made him feel less alone, as messed up as it sounded. He never meant to creep on Tyler, though.

Tyler widened his eyes. “Oh.” He suddenly realized that his forest wasn’t exactly _his_ anymore—it never really was.

“Um, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude,” Josh said awkwardly. “I, uh, hope you’re okay, and stuff.” He rubbed the back of his neck. 

“It’s okay,” Tyler murmured. “I have some weird moments, I guess.”

“No, you’re fine. I totally get the urge. I like to scream at the sky sometimes too.” 

“I’ve never heard you.”

“That’s because you weren’t listening hard enough,” Josh said, nudging Tyler as if he understood what he was saying. 

“I do get consumed in my own head, I guess,” Tyler mumbled. He shook his head. “Anyways. How are you feeling?” They walked around the side of Tyler’s house, towards the woods. They got to the edge of the trees and stopped. “I feel weird dropping you off in here like this, Josh. Just come inside for the night so you can get a good rest?” 

“I really appreciate it, but I really can’t. I-I don’t,” he shook his head. He didn’t want to accidently hurt Tyler. Although he felt safer with Tyler’s presence, he couldn't risk losing control. It would be selfish of him to give into Tyler’s hospitality and risk Tyler’s safety just for a little safety of his own.

Tyler opened his mouth to offer him some food and water, but Josh suddenly turned and started to head deeper into the forest. “Wait, can I see you again?” Tyler asked. It sounded so dumb once it fell from his lips that Tyler suddenly wanted to bang his head against a tree. He just wanted to make sure Josh was going to be okay. He felt responsible. 

Josh turned around and grinned at Tyler. His eyes flashed in a peculiar way, a way that made Tyler’s stomach twist—in a good or bad way, he wasn’t sure. 

He winked at Tyler. “You know where I’ll be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nice lengthy chapter for y'all!!! thanks for reading, hope you're enjoying it. cute and fluffy soon.


	6. Silent In The Trees

Tyler couldn’t sleep the rest of that night. He worried about Josh too much. He kept hearing the roar of a tiger over and over, even though he knew that it wasn’t there anymore. He couldn’t imagine that Josh had existed in the forest the entire time some random tiger existed, too. 

What were the odds that he’d first stumble across a wild animal not native to this area, and then the very next week stumble across a random guy who was shot down in the forest? 

It gave something else for Tyler to think about, though, at the very least. 

The next day, Tyler is up considerably early for someone who had spent several hours in the ER in the dead of the night. But he couldn't stop thinking and worrying about Josh. His family wasn’t even awake yet, so they didn’t hear Tyler pack a backpack full of food and water and extra clothes. They didn’t hear him leave the house through the back door.

Tyler wandered carefully into the forest. The sun was low in the sky, only starting to rise an hour before. The branches and leaves crunched every step, and for some reason Tyler was nervous. He didn’t want to sneak up on Josh, he didn’t want to scare him or bother him. 

Tyler walked further into the forest, farther than he’d gone in a long time. He found himself walking in a familiar route, one that he hasn’t taken in a while but he still vaguely remembered. It was a place he used to go, back from a time he could hardly remember; the months that he lost.

“No way,” Tyler breathed when he got to where he had a strange feeling he’d end up. It was his old tree house. His brother and his friends had played a joke on Tyler one day, threatening his tree house with a lighter, telling Tyler to “grow up”. He was seventeen after all, it was time he stopped playing pretend. Jay had ended up going through with burning the tree house down to impress his friends. He was embarrassed of his sick brother and had to prove a point.

Maybe that was why Tyler didn’t get along with his siblings anymore. He almost didn’t think about the incident anymore but it was buried deeply, subconsciously driving him away from relationships with them all.

Tyler shook the memory out of his head. What caught more of his attention, was the way it was slightly rebuilt. It wasn’t much, though. It probably wouldn’t keep anybody dry during a rainstorm. But it was livable—it looked like someone was living in it currently. Random things scattered around the tree house—which wasn’t really a tree house anymore, because it sat on the ground instead of perched in the tree.

It was Josh’s camp.

“Tyler?” Tyler suddenly heard his name. He dropped the backpack down and looked at Josh. 

“Er, hey,” Tyler said, rubbing the back of his neck with his sweaty palm. “I uh,” he gently tapped his foot against the bag of supplies, “brought you stuff.” 

“Oh,” Josh said, coming into full view. His hair was a mess and his skin was really pale still. He forced a smile at Tyler. His teeth chattered. 

Tyler noticed how weak Josh looked. Sick. Really sick. He knew he shouldn’t have left him alone for the rest of the night. He had gotten really bad really fast.

“Thanks Tyler,” he said, stepping closer to him. Without thinking, he held his hand on Tyler’s arm for support. Josh took a deep breath. He wasn’t doing well. Seeing Tyler made him feel strangely better, but he knew that it wouldn’t last long. He had to get Tyler out of here fast before he phased again.

“Just some food and water and some extra clothes and stuff. Y’know, winter is coming,” Tyler said with a sly smile. 

Josh looked around and shrugged his shoulders. “Is that supposed to scare me away from the woods? This has been my permanent residence for a solid year and three months,” Josh said. He slid his hand down Tyler’s arm subconsciously, tightening his grip on his forearm because he was starting to get really dizzy. But he didn’t want to show that to Tyler. 

Tyler didn’t mind. He could tell Josh was trying to hang in there, but knew after the quick teasing conversation he’d have to do something about the Josh who looked like he was about to pass out. 

“Hm, you’re counting?” Tyler asked.

“It gets lonely,” Josh said simply. Tyler started to lead Josh over to a stump to sit on—Josh didn’t really notice. He liked the way Tyler’s tan skin felt underneath his shaking fingertips. He couldn’t help but imagine wanting to feel more. 

“It doesn’t have to be lonely,” Tyler suggested, nudging Josh to sit down. Josh let out a sigh of relief but didn’t let go of Tyler’s arm. He was afraid he’d burst into his tiger-self if he let go.

“You just like my tree house. Get your own,” Josh teased. Tyler laughed out loud in amusement. 

“Dude, get _your_ own tree house!” Josh looked at him sideways. Tyler unpacked a water bottle from the bag and unscrewed the cap, offering it to Josh who accepted it gracefully. He sipped at the top and ran his tongue over his chapped lips. Tyler’s mouth suddenly became dry, too.

“It used to be mine,” Tyler explained. “So I guess I do have rightful ownership to this camp, as well.” 

“Wait, really?” Josh laughed.

“Yeah! Uh, as you can tell, it burnt down. I used to spend a lot of time here…” Tyler shuddered a little. It usually wasn’t good times. “I like it better now,” he said with a smile. Josh smiled easily back. But then he started to shake.

Tyler sighed. He couldn’t carry on a fun conversation with the dark look in Josh’s eyes and the weird fire in his cheeks. It looked like he had a bad fever or something. “Josh, you’re really sick. Let me help you?”

“Tyler, go away,” Josh rushed. It came out nastier than he intended but he knew he couldn’t control phasing this time. It was his defense mechanism: when he got too sick or weak, the tiger had no choice but to takeover. It was stronger. 

“Josh?”

“ _Tyler_ ,” Josh half-growled, sloppily pushing Tyler away. He felt appalled with himself when he realized he had pushed Tyler all the way to the ground, hurting him when he was trying to protect him. 

Tyler looked at Josh with fear in his eyes. Josh knew a lot about Tyler, and the latter didn’t even know it. He knew from hearing Tyler’s thoughts out loud in the forest all of those times how fragile Tyler was. He didn’t want to hurt him physically, when he knew how much he hurt mentally. 

“I’m sorry Tyler. Please, run away.” 

Tyler shuffled backwards a little—ironically, just like he had done when he had encountered that tiger that one time. Tyler didn’t realize _just_ how ironic it actually was, though—but he would in a few short moments.

Josh screamed. He always screamed when he tried to suppress phasing. It never helped. 

The scream felt eerily familiar to Tyler. 

So did the roar that followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes!


	7. We All Are Stranger Creatures

Tyler’s eyes snapped open. He blinked hard a few times in a row to see if what he was seeing was what he was _actually_ seeing. 

Tyler’s mouth fell open once he saw that the tiger sitting a few feet away from him was, in fact, a tiger. But not just a tiger: a tiger that had literally been a human just seconds before.

“J-Josh?” That was the only thing Tyler could even comprehend saying. He wasn’t thinking much, either. Mainly just, _What the fuck?_ And Tyler didn’t particularly like to have curse words in his vocabulary, even if they weren’t said outloud. 

Since Tyler can’t think or say anything, he mostly just watches Josh—er, the tiger—um, _Josh Tiger_?

He can see a sad and scared look in its (his?) eyes. His eyes. He could tell that those eyes belonged to Josh—somehow they did. Tyler tilted his head to the side curiously.

Josh whimpered and started to back away from Tyler. He knew he wasn’t going to hurt him, but he figured that Tyler probably didn’t know that. Josh told Tyler that he was sorry with his eyes. It would be an hour and a half before he would phase back into human form—and when he did, he knew he would be in bad shape. He had phased in and out all night: it was pure agony. He needed proper care but, as the situation showed, he had to be more careful around other people.

Or maybe it was just something about Tyler that made him let his guard down a little. Because Tyler wasn't staring at Josh in unadulterated horror anymore (and that look had only lasts a split second). Instead, he looked at him with wonder and concern. 

Josh laid down on the grass and sighed. He was so tired. He wasn’t sure how much longer he’d want to live like this. The sigh came between broken breaths, and it hurt. He was in so much pain. He blinked once and twice and knew he was going to pass out soon. He had no energy. He was hurt and weak and dying.

Tyler carefully stood up, unsure. He didn’t know what the hell was going on but he knew that somehow, Josh was in there… he was that tiger. The tiger was josh. Or at least somewhere in there, Josh existed. 

Suddenly all those glowing eyes floating around Tyler’s ceiling at night that he thought were a part of his imagination didn’t seem so silly after all. 

Tyler didn’t know how much of Josh lived in the tiger—or how much the tiger lived in him. If he’d be aggressive, or try to hurt him. But Tyler knew most animals weren’t hunting for humans, unless they posed a threat. So as calmly as possibly, Tyler walked to a pot that Josh kept around and poured two bottles of water into the pot, and then placed it carefully by Josh’s nose. He raised his hands a little and furrowed his eyebrows, looking as innocent as possible and backing away. 

Josh blinked and sat up, leaning over to drink some of the water. He looked at Tyler gratefully. Tyler sat down with his legs crossed, picking at some grass and occasionally glancing at Tiger Josh. He—it?— _he_ had his head down again, with his eyes shut. Tyler could see the bullet wound on his side, noticing that it was bleeding again, staining the orange and black fur.

Tyler found himself smiling a little. It explained Josh’s bright orange hair and amazing teeth. 

Josh was fast asleep. He cried a little with his dreams, to Tyler the sound being a sad whimper. 

Eventually the heavy sighs turned into soft, wispy ones. Tyler looked up to see Regular Josh again, still sleeping but shuddering and naked in the cold. His side was bleeding a lot.

“Oh no,” Tyler whispered. He sat up and grabbed the blanket he had packed and raced over to Josh’s side. He draped the blanket over the still unconscious boy to keep him warm. He knelt down by his side and rested back on his heels. He reached out and ran his fingers through the orange of Josh’s hair, the part that stuck up the most wildly. The sides were mostly shaved down, colored black. 

His eyes fluttered open. They were red, tears on the surface. “I’ll ask questions later, ok?” Tyler said easily, with a trying smile. Josh nodded tiredly but thankfully. His teeth were chattering. His eyes were open wide, staring at Tyler warily. He wanted to trust Tyler. He needed to. His life depended on it. 

Josh watched as Tyler wandered away before returning with bandages and clothes. “I’m glad I brought extra clothes, now,” Tyler murmured with bright eyes and a joking smile to try and make Josh feel better. His eyes dashed over to where Josh’s previous outfit laid: in shreds. 

“Th-thank you,” Josh stammered. He winced as he slipped on a pair of Tyler’s old high school basketball team sweatpants. 

“Do you think you need to get this re-stitched?” Tyler asked worriedly, moving the blanket aside and carefully examining Josh’s wound. He bit his lip as he looked at it. It was bleeding but it looked only a little open.

“No, I just need to be more careful,” Josh said. He sighed. “I can’t control it right now… I’m too sick.”

“It’s okay. I’ll help you,” Tyler said. 

“Are you afraid?” Josh asked, his voice raspy from all of the roaring the night before. He anxiously twisted in his hands the balled up t-shirt Tyler had given him. 

Tyler shook his head. He reached out and touched Josh’s hands, noticing how tense they were. “No, I don’t think so at least.” He paused. “More confused than anything. But,” he shrugged his shoulders, “we can talk about it another time…”

Josh nodded. He knew it must have been a lot to process for Tyler. Maybe that was why he wasn’t freaking out: his brain hadn’t processed what Josh was yet. 

Josh didn’t really know what Josh was, either, and it’s been two and a half years. 

“I brought you medicine and a first aid kit,” Tyler said. 

Josh looked down at his wound. It hurt a lot, and he knew he would need to keep it clean if he wanted to heal. He looked at Tyler. He wanted to heal.

“Okay,” he whispered. “Thank you, Ty.” 

Tyler smiled gently. He reached over to Josh and motioned for him to stand up. He guided him over to the tree house. “Let’s go inside the tree house? I’m afraid that people are going to be looking for you—er, for the tiger’s body, uh y’know what I mean,” he stammered. Josh nodded and watched as Tyler picked up a bunch of stuff scattered around the camp to make it look like a regular tree house hang out spot. Josh usually kept the place neat but with all of the involuntary phases over the past day and a half, there were a lot of clothes laying around. Tyler cleaned up a bit and made sure the forest looked normal, and it kind of reminded Tyler of how it used to be, back when he still spent most of his time in the tree house before it burned down.

Tyler bit his lip as he looked inside the old tree house. Josh sat down against the far wall. It was a small space to begin with but the memories from within it made Tyler feel even more constricted. 

He shook his head and grabbed his backpack full of stuff. He climbed inside the structure and looked around. It wasn’t a horrible set up, but maybe it could use a few new pieces of wood for the roof. 

Tyler sat in front of Josh, taking out his supplies. He took a first aid class once. He sort of knew how to care for open wounds. 

Josh reached out to try and help. Tyler nudged his hands away. “You sit there and relax. Let me help,” he said gently. Josh nodded. 

Tyler focused on the injury, cleaning it well and placing a few butterfly strips across to secure the area where it looked like stitches were pulling. Then he placed a few new bandages over it. “Lean forward a little,” Tyler instructed. Josh did so Tyler could wrap gauze around his stomach, securing the bandages in place. “Does that feel okay?” Tyler asked, keeping a hand on Josh’s side and looking up. 

Josh nodded and took a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”

Tyler frowned. Josh was really pale and even though his wound was all secure, he wasn’t sure how to make him feel better. “Did you take those antibiotics the doctor gave you?” Tyler asked. 

“Yeah. Hopefully they’ll kick in soon.” Josh winced.

“Well weren’t those for infection? You still need something for the pain.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I just couldn’t take legit pain meds, they’d dull my senses, and, uh, you know what would happen,” he explained, chuckling awkwardly. Tyler had almost forgotten about the whole “tiger” thing. 

“Oh, right,” Tyler laughed back, just as awkward. He wiped his hands on his jeans and sat up, turning so he was now sitting against the wall next to Josh. Josh slipped on the t-shirt and took another calming breath. The fresh clothes were nice. “Advil can’t hurt you,” Tyler said, handing him three pills for the pain.

“Thank you,” Josh said as he accepted them. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He already felt so much better after being cleaned up. Tyler’s presence helped a lot, too, but Josh was afraid to admit that to himself. He tilted his head down onto Tyler’s shoulder. 

Tyler tried to stay as calm as possible for Josh’s sake—knowing that besides weakness, anxiety was a trigger for whatever Josh was—but being inside the tree house made him feel like he couldn’t breathe. He found his hands around his own neck, again. 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Josh asked, opening his eyes to see Tyler straining for breath, his hands running up his own neck. Tyler immediately snapped out of it and dropped his hands. They were shaking. 

“I’m sorry. This place…” he shook his head. He blocked memories out. He turned to look at Josh instead. He liked his hair, especially running his fingers through it. His eyes were a little dark but they were calm, like the night sky after a storm. They made Tyler feel better. The storm always ended.

“Kind of ironic that I picked this to be my camp, I guess,” Josh said. Tyler nodded.

“It’s okay. I’m glad to see it’s getting good use now,” Tyler smiled. Josh smiled back because Tyler’s little grin was so infective. He seemed to stare off into space a lot—Josh was noticing this already even though he hadn’t been around Tyler much. Well, he had been around Tyler plenty of times, times that Josh didn’t count because Tyler didn’t know about them. But whenever Tyler broke from whatever trance he was in, the adorable grin that plastered on his face was precious.

“Do you think you’re going to turn into… uh, a tiger? Anytime soon?” Tyler asked.

Josh shook his head. “I think I’m okay for now. I’ll be able to give warning though for next time.”

“Oh, so you want me to stick around?” Tyler asked with a half-joking tone. Josh grinned.

“Yes, please. Only if you want to, of course.”

“I do. Does this also mean you’ll come back to my house with me? So you can get some good rest and get back to being healthy?” Tyler pressed carefully. He couldn’t imagine staying out here all night. Alone. In this tree house. “I have internet connection too. We can do some research,” he added lightheartedly.

Josh shook his head, and Tyler frowned. “C’mon, man, why not?”

“I still don’t know why I change the way I do. When I am healthy, I can control it for the most part, but sometimes I can’t. So many things could go wrong. I couldn’t put you or anyone through that.” 

Tyler sighed a little. He tugged on Josh’s arm, encouraging him to lay down to get more comfortable. Tyler was so gentle and caring. He bunched up a blanket in his lap to make a pillow for Josh’s head. He ran his fingers through the wild orange hair, knowing that it was something that calmed Josh. He could see it in the way his eyes slightly closed and his cheeks lifted.

“Josh, I can help keep you safe and we can figure this out. My family never goes to my room and even if they did, they wouldn’t care if you’re there. Once you have better control over the whole thing, you can stay with me. I can’t let you suffer out here in the woods.”

“What if I don’t want to be taken care of?” he asked softly and mindlessly. It was something Josh pondered often. Craving to waste away a little, because it would be so much easier, so much less dangerous. 

“Josh—”

“What if I don’t want to live like this? I mean, look at me! I get too anxious or too weak and hurt and I turn into a goddamn tiger. I don’t even know why… I’m so tired of living like this.” He sighed. His voice didn’t raise once, despite how upset his words were. “Three years ago I didn’t even know things like me existed outside of story books. I’m so lost, Tyler. I’m lost and scared and tired and I don’t want to live like this.”

Tyler nodded and blinked. He continued to twist his fingers gently through Josh’s hair. He could have sworn he could hear a content rumble in Josh’s chest—a purr.

“Josh, I know I’m different but I’m lost too. I’m scared and tired and I don’t really want to live either most of the time. You know, you’ve heard me. You know how important the forest is to the both of us. But it doesn’t have to be like that forever. We don’t need this forest. We can get out of here. We can help each other.”


	8. See Purpose Start To Surface

Josh gave in. He couldn’t deny that he liked being around Tyler. He felt safe with him. Happy, even. And Tyler wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he just left Josh alone, unless he knew that Josh _really_ wanted him to. He didn’t think he did. 

Tyler spent the next week and a half with Josh, visiting him in the forest, bringing him food and water, extra clothes, and medicine. He got somewhat comfortable with the fact that Josh would occasionally turn into a tiger, as odd as that sounded. 

They didn’t talk about it a lot. It was something Josh was used to, not something he knew anything about. His main concern was getting back to full health and learning how to control it better, and Tyler was a lot of help with that. 

“You’re lucky, Ty,” Josh said, sitting down in the grass next to him.

“How come?” He didn’t feel that lucky most of the time. He was happy to have Josh around, though. 

“Well I mean, it’s not lucky to get anxiety attacks, but at least you don’t turn into a wild animal during them,” he said with a sigh. He laid down a little ways away from Tyler so he could watch him. He liked watching Tyler’s mindless movements. He always seemed to be partly in his own little world, one foot in and one foot out. 

Tyler turned and laid down, starting to pick at the dandelions that scattered the ground. “Yeah,” he said. He twisted some stems together. “At least we know how to help you better.”

Josh nodded. “Thank you,” he murmured. He bit his lip and tangled his fingers through chunks of grass, thinking. Worrying. Wondering if Tyler was ever going to leave him, because his “condition” was so insane. He wanted to know more about it, but didn’t know where to even start. He wasn’t sure how long Tyler would be able to last without any sort of knowledge about what was going on. 

Unbeknownst to Josh, though, Tyler just accepted the fact that there were strange creatures out there. Stranger creatures than him. 

“I see things on my ceiling at night,” Tyler said quietly. He continued to twist stems of dandelions together. “I guess they’re real. I guess everything’s real. It doesn’t matter though.” He looked up from his craft to make eye contact with Josh. Josh rolled closer to him, kind of like a cat which made Tyler smile a little. He nuzzled his head against Tyler’s shoulder. “If you do ever find out why you change like you do, what then? What happens next? I guess it’s a piece of mind, but why even bother? All that time spent searching is time not spent living.” He paused and tilted his head with thought. He had stopped searching for God at the same time he discovered Josh. Maybe He was still out there—it seemed like anything and everything existed now—but Tyler couldn’t find Him. _You’re going to have to find me,_ Tyler had told the sky. “And I know it feels sometimes like you’re not really living… but,” he shrugged his shoulders and twisted the last two stems together, making a full circle of dandelions.

“They’re my favorite,” Josh commented, nuzzling his head affectionately against Tyler’s shoulder again. Tyler grinned and placed the hand-made flower crown on Josh’s head. He liked the way the orange and yellow mixed together. Josh looked like the sun. 

“Mine too. Even weeds can become flowers,” he commented. Josh’s eyes lit up even more. He hadn’t felt this content in years.

Tyler lifted his hand and pet Josh’s hair at the nape of his neck. It was wild and curly and surprisingly soft, for someone who hadn’t really showered in a while. 

They sat together and talked for a while. Josh asked about Tyler’s songs. He had heard Tyler sing a lot of times in the forest before. Something about Tyler’s words and voice made him feel safe. It made him think. He felt calm.

“I think music is my purpose.”

“You’re good at it.”

Tyler shrugged. “I just want to help people. That’s what it should be about, anyways.”

“Helping people is your purpose, then.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

“Or, helping… _things_ ,” Josh said, gesturing to himself.

“Stop that, Jishwa,” Tyler frowned. He poked at the flower crown that rested sloppily on Josh’s head. “You’re not a thing.” 

Josh hid his face into the crook of his arms shyly. “Josh? How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. It hurts a little but the stitches are dissolving and I feel more in control. But still, don’t be surprised if I kinda turn into the tiger randomly for a little longer,” Josh said with a small grin. 

“As long as you promise not to maul me to death,” he teased with a joking glare.

“Hey, I said I was sorry for that, okay? Sometimes it’s hard to think when I’m like that. I get all instinctive and shit.”

Tyler laughed. “It’s okay, don’t worry. You seem a lot more calm now whenever you turn, which I appreciate.” 

“Well it helps that you don’t freak out when I phase. It makes me trust you. I can control myself a little more.”

Tyler smiled. “Can I see?” Josh asked, touching Tyler’s shoulder. 

“See what?”

“What I did.” They sat up, sitting with their legs crossed. 

“I didn’t think you actually left a mark.”

“I did. I’m heavier than you’d realize,” Josh said. “And my nails are sharp.”

“You didn’t hurt me.”

“I still want to see. Can I?”

“Okay,” Tyler said. He turned away from Josh and took his shirt off. He shuddered when he felt Josh’s shaking fingers trace over his shoulder blades, over little bumps that Tyler didn’t even realize were there.

“I’m sorry,” Josh whispered, his hand still traveling around Tyler’s back. 

His nails had dug into Tyler’s shoulders, and there was some scarring. Josh felt horrible. “I didn’t even know, Josh, it’s okay. I’m pretty immune to most pain, don’t worry.” 

Josh didn’t say anything, he just sniffed. “I don’t want to hurt you. Not you.”

Tyler slowly turned around to face Josh again. Josh was shaking and his cheeks were flushing. “Josh, it’s okay.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you.” Josh saw Tyler as precious. He heard his troubles and could feel his torn up mind like he was holding the shredded pieces in the palm of his hands. He didn’t want him to hurt anymore than he did in his head. He didn’t want to hurt him physically, too. 

Tyler saw Josh beginning to get worked up. “Josh,” he cooed. “You’re not hurting me.”

Josh sighed sadly. He was still a little too weak. His sigh turned into a heavy huff as his body turned into its tiger form. Josh turned his animal head and looked at the torn up shirt that had flung to the side. It was Tyler’s. He really liked that shirt because it smelled just like Tyler. And it was soft. 

Tyler stood up and grabbed a blanket for Josh. He draped it over the tiger’s body, so that when Josh came back, he wasn’t embarrassed for being naked. He pet him right behind his ear, making Josh’s eyes close in content. Tyler carefully laid down close to Josh. It was late, almost nighttime, but tonight Tyler decided that he was going to stay. He would be in trouble with his parents tomorrow but he didn’t care. He was going to stay, tonight. 

It was only thirty minutes later when Josh faded back into his normal self. Tyler knew because the breathing became lighter. A human arm wrapped around his torso. A human forehead pressed into the back of his neck.

Tyler placed his hand over Josh’s. He peeked his eyes open to see that the sun was down. He could have sworn he felt lips brush against his skin. He shuddered and turned around, studying Josh’s face carefully. 

“Are you okay?” Tyler asked. Josh leaned forward so his forehead touched Tyler’s. He nodded. 

“Sorry about that,” he regretted.

“It’s not your fault,” Tyler murmured. He swallowed thickly. “Are you cold?”

Josh shook his head. He felt warm with Tyler. Tyler breathed out. Breath warm on Josh’s face. 

“Um, I could use some clothes maybe, actually,” Josh shivered. He didn’t want to move from their spot, but he was cold now. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the weather or if he shivered because of some other reason. 

Tyler smiled brightly and impulsively leaned forward, kissing Josh’s nose. Josh giggled and scrunched his face up. His stomach swarmed with butterflies. 

Tyler grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt from his stash that he brought for Josh. “Here ya go, Jishwa.” He blushed as he accepted the clothes, slipping them on quickly. He picked up the blanket from the ground and took Tyler’s arm, walking with him towards the shelter of the old tree house.

“Can you stay with me tonight?” he asked quietly, releasing Tyler’s arm. Tyler tugged on Josh, pulling him onto the pallet of blankets that they had made to make it more comfortable. 

He curled up with him, the blanket draped over both of them. It was a cold night. But with Tyler there, Josh felt warm. “You won’t get in trouble?” Josh asked. Tyler simply shook his head. It didn’t matter. He connected their foreheads together again. 

Tyler reached up and ran his fingers through Josh’s hair behind his ear. He curled his fingers around his face. 

Josh’s eyes flicked up when he felt drips on his face. It had started to rain. It was going to be a bad night. Thunder shook through their bones. “You’re afraid of storms,” Josh commented. 

“It’s okay,” Tyler closed his eyes and shook his head. Now that it was storming, he really didn’t want to leave Josh. He held his hand against his cheek. 

“You can go home, Ty,” Josh said.

“I won’t leave you. Not until you’re one hundred percent healthy.”

Josh leaned closer to Tyler, snuggled his head into his neck. Tyler rested his head on top of Josh’s. The storm raged outside but he felt safe here with Josh. It went both ways. He wanted to keep him safe.

Tyler had found his purpose.


	9. Two Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here we see Tyler's other face, his counterpart, similar to Josh's tiger but a mental thing instead of a physical representation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there's a dramatized anxiety attack in this chapter, so please be careful reading !! ily all |-/

Tyler didn’t sleep much, the thunder and rain keeping him awake and slightly shaking. But Josh held him tightly—comfortably—and he held him just the same back. Josh seemed peaceful and Tyler was glad he got to witness that. Eventually though he had fallen into a deeper sleep, once the heavy rain had stopped and the sun started to rise. 

They were both freezing cold when they woke up. Josh looked at Tyler apologetically. His lips were blue. Numb. The first thing Josh thought of doing when he saw them was to lean forward and kiss them. 

It didn’t really catch Tyler off guard. Nothing surprised him anymore. He was kind of hoping that would happen soon, anyway. As a mostly lonely kid his entire life, he had never given his sexuality much though, but he knew he was attracted to Josh. He knew he liked Josh. He didn’t really have to think much past that. 

Josh kissed Tyler again, lifting his hand to rest on his cheek. Tyler wasn’t sure if he knew how to kiss back but he tried and he swore he could feel Josh’s chest vibrating in a content purr. It made Tyler smile.

Josh smiled back, shyly, fading into sort of a frown, but not completely. Doubt just rung in his ears and he had to get it out: “sorry,” he said quietly.

Tyler shook his head and pressed his forehead against Josh’s. “Don’t be sorry. Why are you sorry?” 

Josh shrugged and bit his lip, averting his eyes from Tyler’s. “I dunno. You’re the only person that understands me. I don’t want to mess that up.”

“You’re not messing anything up,” Tyler murmured. He gently tapped on Josh’s chin, telling him not to look away. Josh nodded and nuzzled his head against Tyler’s. 

“Why are you so understanding, anyways?” Josh asked quietly. 

Tyler bit his lip. “You’re not the only one with another face,” he said, a little darkly, dark enough to make Josh furrow his eyebrows and inch even closer to Tyler. So much time being worried about, he forgot that Tyler had his war, too, and he really did know enough about that war because he used to be able to hear his battles. 

Tyler blinked hard and shook his head. “He crawls up my throat and chokes me from the inside out. He scratches through my hands and-and he punches the inside of my rib cage. He-he takes over and dares to call himself by my name—”

“Tyler,” Josh said gently, carefully. For the first time in his life, Tyler’s anxiety wasn’t sending Josh into a fit of his own. Josh didn’t know why or what it meant, but he was glad that Tyler didn’t trigger him, because he wanted to be around him more, he wanted to protect Tyler just like Tyler always vouched for protecting _him_ , he didn’t want to leave him, he didn’t want him to leave, either. Maybe Tyler was meant to be his person. 

“Ty, stop that,” Josh whispered. Tyler had sat up and scuffled backwards, hands around his throat, eyes wide and wild. Josh knelt in his direction, one hand out as a sort of offering, kind of how Tyler had carefully given Josh a bowl of water after phasing into the tiger; it was a role reversal. 

“I’m sorry,” Tyler gasped, blinking again, his hands tightly around his own neck. Just talking about it, thinking about it, thinking about only himself for the first time since meeting Josh—it came as a shock, for he really liked only thinking about Josh—sent him into a vulnerable state that his counterpart thirstily thrived to take advantage of. His hands were starting to not feel like his own. His head was twisting and his lungs were acting as his enemy instead of his friend. His eyes burned. His vision blurred. His thoughts mangled, until he was no longer sorry for being like this in front of the also vulnerable Josh, until Tyler was tucked away in a small closet of his mind, hiding from his blurryface, the stronger one, the one with a death grip on his neck. 

“Go away, go away,” Tyler muttered to himself, shaking his head again and again and again. “I am Tyler, not you.”

Josh had heard these words fall from Tyler’s lips before. And he knew he couldn’t exactly do anything to help Tyler out of it, just like Tyler couldn't do much to help Josh out of his tiger form. He could only be present, gentle and aware, careful and patient. 

Josh inched closer to Tyler and touched his shoulder. He ran his hands down his shoulder and arm. “Ty, Tyler,” he cooed, sitting next to him. Tyler wasn’t looking at Josh, though. He had his eyes clenched shut so he didn’t have to see, and his hands were squeezing tightly around his neck.

Josh hovered his hands over Tyler’s. He could see how tightly he was gripping; it scared him. What scared him even more, though, was when Tyler’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. He slumped forward, his hands slacking. Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler and held him tightly. Whoever, whatever had control over his mind, he wasn’t sure, but he didn’t want them to win over Tyler. Not his Tyler.

When Tyler opened his eyes, he felt a gentle tickle fluttering across his neck, like a butterfly. He turned his head to see Josh tracing his fingertips across Tyler’s neck. He stopped once he saw Tyler looking at him.

“Ty,” he breathed, flattening his hand and holding it against the side of his head, leaning down to bring Tyler’s head into his chest. “Are you okay?”

Tyler licked his dry lips and blinked. “I can’t be in this place, Josh,” he whispered. His eyes darted around the tree house. Flashes of his past haunted his head, snickers of his enemies pierced his ears. 

“Look at me,” Josh whispered. Tyler’s eyes shifted back to Josh, and he relaxed. “You don’t have to be in here. I’m so sorry.” 

Tyler took a shaky breath and nodded. Josh bit his lip, glancing at Tyler’s neck. “What is it?” 

“Bruises. There’re bruises, Ty.”

“Not again,” Tyler hissed. He sat up and moved from out of Josh’s lap, rubbing his eyes. He crawled out of the tree house, Josh following. 

“What are you doing?” Josh asked, watching Tyler smash his hand into a puddle of mud and then smear it over the skin on his neck. He rubbed his hands together as if he was washing them and spread the mud halfway up his arm. He shook his head and gently touched his neck, to make sure it was completely covered. 

“Covering them up,” Tyler answered simply.

“But, won’t they ask about the mud?” Josh tilted his head to the side. He walked closer to Tyler and gently held his hand on his arm, so Tyler knew that he wasn’t criticizing him, that he was on his side.

“It’s easier to explain than bruises. I’ll just-I’ll just,” Tyler shook his head and coughed. “I don’t know,” he whimpered, kneeling on the grown and bowing his head. “I don’t know.”

Josh bit his lip. He didn’t know, either. But he crawled over to Tyler and carefully wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into his hold. He kissed the side of his head and closed his eyes.

“They’re going to make me go away again,” Tyler cried softly. “I don’t want to go away.”

Josh didn’t know what to say that would comfort Tyler, except he could feel his heart rate increasing again so he whispered soothing words into his ear and held him carefully, running his hands on up and down his back, guiding him through his breathing, using the anxiety techniques Tyler himself had taught him. 

A low growl escaped Josh’s lips, vibrating through his chest. The perhaps terrifying sound and darkness in Josh’s eyes would have made Tyler uneasy if he didn’t know Josh as well as he did now. It made him feel safer. “I won’t let them take you away.” And like an animal claiming its territory, Josh tightened his grip on Tyler just a little more, thinking, _he’s mine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg sorry this has taken so long! and i hope it's okay. i'm trying to develop their individual characters and relationship slowly but i think i've rushed it again, as usual. oh well, at least they kissed and stuff :) please let me know what you think in the comments, and anything you'd like to see happen in this story! i have is planned out but am definitely flexible to change :) have a nice day/night ily all so much


	10. Holding Onto You

Tyler had fallen asleep with Josh, sinking into his protective hold as the anxiety exhausted him. Josh, his head buzzing with energy, remained wide eyed, rubbing Tyler’s back. For once in his life, he was comforting someone other than himself. 

“I’m going to have to go home soon,” Tyler later mumbled. The sun shined through the broken boards of the tree house structure. “The longer I stay out, the more I’m screwed. I don’t want my parents to put me on lockdown…” He sighed, turning to face Josh. “They probably will.” 

Josh bit his lip. He didn’t want Tyler to leave. But Tyler had a real life outside of this tree house, outside of the forest. He couldn’t take him from that. He had parents to go back to, a family that cared about him. Josh had lost that two years ago. 

“You should go,” Josh encouraged. “Lemme see your neck.”

Tyler gulped and brushed off dry chunks of mud from his neck. “Is it bad?”

“Not really. Finger prints for sure are there, but if you wear a sweatshirt with a hood you might be okay…” 

Tyler peered outside at the sun. “It’s early still. They might be out at church. I think I’ll be able to get myself together in time for no questions asked,” Tyler mused. His eyes lit up. “Josh! Come with me! I’m sure you want to shower too. This is a great opportunity. Even if you phase, you’ve been doing it quietly anyway… it would be okay. Please?” 

Tyler could see the hesitation on Josh’s features. “I won’t stop asking until you say yes, y’know,” he said, smiling a little. 

Josh smiled back. “I know. Okay, a shower does sound nice. And air conditioning… okay, as long as you’re sure it’s okay.”

The pair packed up the tree house, leaving it almost bare. Tyler looked at Josh carefully, holding out his hand. “We’ll keep each other safe.” 

They made their way back to Tyler’s house. He was right; his family was still out for church. 

Josh was on the brink of tears. The cool house air conditioning felt amazing on his papery skin. The tiles floor under his toes was so smooth compared to the muddy, rocky, and branch-ridden ground of the forest. Tyler showed Josh his bathroom, putting plastic wrap around Josh’s bandages to keep the wound from getting wet. Then, he turned the shower on for him and placed a towel on the counter. “I’ll make you a sandwich while you shower, okay? Take your time.” 

“Thank you,” Josh breathed, colliding into Tyler for a hug. “Thank you so much, Ty.” He cried into his shoulder. 

“Easy there, easy,” Tyler comforted him, running his fingers down Josh’s bony spine. 

Tyler let Josh go, giving him an encouraging smile and leaving to give him privacy. Josh carefully stepped into the shower. The water was a nice temperature, not too warm, not too cool. He turned it up, a little hotter, as shudders spread across his skin at the contact of the water. He couldn’t control rain like this. 

Josh stayed in the shower for thirty minutes, careful of his wound but scrubbing everywhere else. Scrubbing under his nails, washing his face multiple times, shampooing his hair over and over again. He hadn’t been clean in two years. He didn’t stop cleaning himself until the water was perfectly clear spiraling down the drain. 

He cried in the shower, too. A relieved, happy cry, for once. Safe, for once. 

Josh turned the shower off and carefully stepped out, wincing at the tug in his side. He dried off with the towel Tyler left for him and slipped on the fresh clothes. He swept his bright orange hair back and smiled at himself weakly in the partly fogged mirror. 

“Josh?” Tyler whispered outside of the bathroom with a small knock. 

Josh opened the door for him, eyebrows raised. “Hey, I’m done in here.” 

“Cool,” Tyler smiled. “My family is back so,” he raised his eyebrows and nodded back to his room. 

“Oh, right, yeah,” Josh smiled and followed Tyler carefully to his room. 

“I gotta get cleaned up too, but here,” Tyler handed Josh a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “I can bring you more food too if you’re hungry. Oh and there’s water here on my desk. Get comfy, okay?” 

Josh beamed, glancing around Tyler’s room. It was small and homey. There was a window directly across from the door with a desk underneath it. On the left wall was Tyler’s bed with navy blue blankets and more pillows than Josh could ever imagine, and on the right was a dresser. Posters littered the walls, pieces of notebook pages were scattered on every surface, and a small keyboard sat in the corner between the dresser and desk. Josh loved it. 

Tyler had already pulled back the blankets of his bed and fluffed the pillows. “I don’t know how long I’ll be. But I’ll come check on you a lot okay? Try and get some good sleep in,” Tyler said. 

“Sounds good,” Josh said. “Thank you Tyler. Thank you.” 

Tyler smiled and left the room. He took a deep breath, listening to his family downstairs. He wasn’t sure if they knew he wasn’t home all night, so he waited anxiously for them to start talking to each other. He was normally the topic of conversation after church, when they were feeling the most reflective. 

“I’m going to go check on him,” he heard his mom say. “He’s been sneaking around and acting particularly strange for weeks. I'm worried sick.” 

“Let the kid sleep, it’s hardly even noon. His medicine makes him tired, you know that. We can talk to him about it this afternoon when he wakes up,” his dad dismissed. 

His mom sighed. “I just need to see him and make sure he’s there and okay. I always think about that kid from the town over who killed—”

“Tyler is _not_ that kid. We are getting _our_ kid help. Please,” his dad reacted. 

Tyler winced. He wasn’t exactly sure what they were talking about but it didn't sound promising. He called down to them. “Hey guys, I’m up. I just got back from the gym. I’m going to shower now, I’ll come down after.”

Tyler continued to the bathroom with that. He didn’t bother waiting around for their response, knowing that they wouldn’t follow him up there or check on him in his room. 

Tyler turned the shower on hot, letting it run and the steam to cloud in the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror for a long time. His skin was still dirty from mud, but he could see his fingerprints stained by bruises on his neck. He stared and stared until the steam fogged the mirror, until his face became blurry. Then, he stepped into the shower, standing there motionless, letting the dirt wash off of him and flutter down in crusts. 

Tyler liked Josh and he liked taking care of him. He wanted to help him more but he wasn’t sure how. And the other problem, Tyler thought while standing lazily in the shower, the water leaving red burns on his back, was that he didn’t even know how to take care of himself. 

Eventually Tyler washed himself properly and turned the water off. His back was on fire and he was angry with himself for doing that again when he had Josh waiting for him in his room. 

He put on his sweatpants and sweatshirt, pulling the cloth up enough to hide the marks on his neck. It wasn’t that bad; he’d probably get away with it this time. 

Before he went downstairs to check in with his family, Tyler quietly walked back to his room and peered in. Josh was sound asleep in his bed, his orange hair fanning out on the pillow and his features so peaceful, Tyler never wanted to look away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 years... wow yikes heck 
> 
> Here i am, finishing all my old fics bc I can't bear to leave them unfinished, even if nobody's reading them. warning: this story will end at chapter 15 + epilogue and will not have a happy ending. enjoy regardless though :) 
> 
> thanks for reading, if anyone's out there


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